… Once upon a time in the Woo there lived a malcontent that went by the name of Didi(disappointed damsel in distress). Okay, so maybe there are three Ds but did you really think I was going to call myself the girl with the Triple Ds? Not going to do it, nope.
I have had a very interesting July/August so far. I have made myself get out into the world for Saturday adventures with people in and around my life. It has RAINED every single trip. I must say that all of my companions have been great sports about the weird weather. The question is, what am I looking for? Why do I feel the need to chase peace? I am trying to have fun hitting some of my favorite spots with new people and exploring new places with companions I have adventured with before. Why does it feel like I am just going through the motions? When will I start to feel the wonder, the excitement, the rush of adrenaline from the unknown variables that make adventures enjoyable? Do you know the feeling I am talking about? It’s that child like awe of Christmas mornings, that intangible feeling of awesomeness from the things, the sights, the smells all around you.
It begins as it always does with the mere glimmer in my thoughts that I can do better, that I can be better. I am slowly returning to myself. I let myself get too caught up in the WWs mantra and lost me on the way. I am back on my journey. I am trying to make healthier food choices. I know what I am doing. I just have to believe I can do it. Hell, I have been doing this since I was in my 20s. I had zero confidence when I was younger. No belief in my own power. I felt at odds. There are no established rules about growing into the amazing person you are meant to be. It comes with self acceptance, friends that love you, people in your life who get you, and a glimmer of light that comes from your soul. Remember just because you are able to recognize the beauty in others does not mean you are good at recognizing it in yourselves! I have always made the mistake that my beauty is less than someone else’s, which is an untruth. My beauty is uniquely mine.
I have truly been blessed and foolishly I have been wasting so much time feeling unworthy. Every time I embrace who I know I am, I am better. I do better. I believe in myself. It is my inability or my unwillingness to let go of my anger that harms me EVERY SINGLE TIME. I really need to break off from this toxic relationship. Yo, Anger it’s been real but you and me, we have to go our separate ways. I know you think you are protecting me but it’s a lie I like to trick myself into believing.
I face tomorrow with a renewed hope in myself. This time I will hold on so I can see what is on the other side of the rainbow. Never Give Up On The Person You Are meant To BE!