It’s a Kind of Magic…

…LIFE, when it surprises you in unexpected positive ways. I started my unbirthday project last week. I carefully framed each of my photos that I had snapped at a sunflower festival. I wrapped each creation in tissue paper than I arranged them into waiting gift bags. As I made my way around handing out my gifts to the people I had selected, my heartbeat was catching in my throat. I was nervous with gleeful anticipation and dare I say a little apprehension.

The look in someone’s eye when the surprise is for them. The questioning look that asks,”what have I done to deserve this?” their happiness unfolds as their grin expands; that is what you have done, given back what I desire most, a smile. Not much really but everything that is grand about people. We have become a nation of anger. It breaks my heart in ways too numerous to tell here. Where have all the “good” people gone? the ones who put out a hand not to press you down but to steady you as you find your way? When did it become common place not to look people in the eye, exchange a quick good morning, or good afternoon and flash a warm smile their way. WHEN?

I usually post Friday nights but this week I just wasn’t feeling it. I wrenched my back earlier in the week. I spent three excruiating days not being able to do much of anything but cry in discomfort. I am happy to report that the spasming has slowed to a dull roar which has allowed me to be able to sit here long enough to enlighten you on how my unbirthday project has been progressing. I have a few more peeps to surprise, then I am done until the dead of Winter when happiness is in short supply. Love the people in your life while they are here to enjoy you.

New Weigh

I have always held the belief that OVER eating is more than just not knowing when you have had enough of a good thing. For me indulging in the dark arts ( cookies, cakes ) has always been about my fear and anger of handling/not handling my own pain or discomfort. Growing up feeling inadequate with no one to tell me life is a learning curve, that we grow as we grow was tough. When I needed to be comforted and no one was there, food always was. If I was busy stuffing food into my mouth I couldn’t cry about feeling unloved. Food was always on stand by for times when I wasn’t good enough or pretty enough or enough of whatever magical ingredient seemed to have not been shipped with my arrival into the world.

Food can not make you happy for long. Just like its calories, it is an empty friend. The only thing it ever truly gives me is heartache. Food can not hold my hand or help me to see that I am strong enough to work my way through the hard times. Food does not build character it tears down whatever small foundation I may have managed to put together. Food has proven to me that I have real weaknesses. It has taught me I can easily be swayed by an over processed smartly wrapped package of nutrient void glob whenever I am trying to avoid myself. Problems do not go away simply because I prefer them to.

I made the choice to get better. I am the only one who can guarantee my success by never giving up on trying to become the best version of myself. I decided to make peace with myself. The road is not always easy to travel but, what an amazing journey I am on.

Never Give UP On The Person You Are Meant To BE