Asshole, the Ninja Cat

No, that’s not really her name but whenever she bites me and I am not expecting it, I admit, I usually call her Asshole. I love this cat. I hate this cat. I will be devastated when her time comes and she leaves for Rainbow Bridge someday. For the very first time yesterday, I gave her oral medication before a visit to the vet. My little cat friend is closing in on being an ancient beast of fifteen. She needed some dental attention and is too old to put under anesthesia. I stood in the exam room out of the way as the Vet scraped the plaque off my cat’s teeth. As my cat was under the influence of some pretty good tranquilizers she didn’t struggle much and I am told felt no pain. Well, I felt pained. There was blood. I didn’t expect to see blood. She has a loose tooth she will undoubtedly lose while eating. She has a cavity in another tooth and will have to return to the vet in a month to check for infection and to see what we will do to fix this situation, if it can be fixed. Pepper is a ninja. In all the years I have owned her she has never once let me clip her nails or brush her teeth. She has amazing reflexes. I am the one who ends up with damages, scratches, and bite marks. Any time I have attempted to do things she does not want she draws blood, mine.

I was a lost soul after my kid sister died. I hate the term passed away. She didn’t pass anything. She was involved in a car accident that claimed her life, like some Netherworld badass took her life in token, almost as if it held a winning lottery ticket from the other side of the veil. It has taken me a long time to sort of come to terms with my loss. Some days I am still painfully angry but Pepper, my cat, helps me find a space of peace and love.

She makes me get out of bed in the morning. She butts her head into my legs when she is in need of love and smoochies. She bites my feet through the blankets when I toss and turn too much and disrupt her sleep. She is the one who sits on my chest and gazes into my face until my unconscious self becomes aware. She is velvet soft. She purrs instantly if I rub her head or brush out her mane. She prefers human hairbrushes to cat combs. I have to keep mine away from her reach or she will claim it as her own.

My ninja cat is an oddity. She was weened too young (not my fault) her tummy cannot tolerate wet food. She likes to lick the salt off potato chips and will steal pretzels from you if you are not careful. She adores raisins. I know they are poisonous to cats. If I accidentally drop a raisin it becomes a race to see if I will be able to pick it up before she sweeps in with her ninja reflexes and consumes it. I don’t eat raisins in the house often…she is that fast. She adores fresh carrots, balsamic vinaigrette, and grilled chicken.  She loves the smell of my mint dental floss, so much so that I have to conceal it in the trash bin to keep her from taking it after I have discarded it or she will steal it to chew on as if it were her own. I can not wear any lip balm to bed containing peppermint oil. She will wait until I fall asleep and have a tasting binge of my face.

Her little soul has become part of my being. Talking to the vet yesterday I felt myself getting teary eyed. I see more clearly now that she is aging. Sometimes I have to pick her up to put her on the bed. She has slowed down some. After a long nap she favors one leg a little more than the others so she limps. Her hearing is not as acute as it once was. I can sneak up on her if she is in a deep sleep. She seeks me out more often for cuddles and wants to snuggle under blankets even when it is not cold. Love for a pet is a real thing. I love her more than I realized.

 

 

 

Adventure Anyone?

Life is pleasant unplanned for, wonderment. Growing up I can honestly tell you that I didn’t have many friends. Most of my friends were related to me or were kids in my neighborhood. School can often be a lonely place. If you are different from the norm it can be a brutal battlefield. Open season by others who lack the maturity to realize that it is the person(s) who are different that usually make the greatest effort to be better to you than the shits you hang around with. I survived public school. I was bullied; I became a bully. I am not proud of either experience but I walked away with life lessons I will never forget. I became a strong believer in random acts of kindness. I often sing in the middle of a store, a museum, or town square. I engage people in conversation about the loveliness of the day or an article of clothing that looks nice on them. I embrace my life with a joy I did not know growing up and I am a better person for it. Because I changed my attitude my life changed.

I am blessed to have amazing people in my life. My hubby has taught me so much about myself that I didn’t want to believe was true. I have the BEST bestfriend anyone could ever want. I belong to a book club that is filled with life affirming, positive, intelligent, well spoken females who inspire me.  I learn something new about friendship from these ladies every time we meet. I have learned to be comfortable with who I am. Thank you =  )

Yesterday I had the pleasure of undertaking an adventure with two ladies I met at hockey. Yes, I said hockey. My hubby is a HUGE hockey fan. As long as there has been hockey in our city we have held season tickets. I am more of a casual fan of the game. Often while hubby is engrossed in the goings on of the game I am being a social butterfly. That is how I met Christine and Allyson. Chris was doing duty at our team Booster Club table and I was trying to annoy her. Instead, I made her laugh (one of my more endearing qualities) I think. Allyson, whom I casually met at a game is friends with Chris. We met during intermission in between periods; a time spent by the diehards, hitting the bathroom, consuming snacks, trading stories about the shared love of the game and gossip. In time we became friendly.

Our first attempt at adventure in the last days of July showed me what great people they really are. Summer can be a busy time, we finagled our schedules to converge so these two could try to teach me all about kayaking. Our adventure day dawned with soaking rains. Time to break out Plan B. I find Plan B helps me to separate the true hearted from the PIAs (pains in the ass); sad but true. A like minded person will be willing and able to adapt to a new course of action and adventure while a PIA becomes like their moniker. Whining ,unless we are going to a winery, is just not cool. I have to hand it to these two. We adventured on. After some thinking we settled upon a walk around The Tower Hill Botanical Garden. We all got in a great walk, met some wonderful older generational people coming to Tower Hill for an event, and talked through a grand spectrum of life events. We found we have a lot in common besides the hockey. While we ate lunch we agreed to meet again before the doldrums of winter make life grey.

Yesterday we all piled into Christine vehicle and made our way to Gloucester, MA to have brunch at Sugar Magnolias. This place held up to my every expectation. I have eaten there once before. I found them just as wonderful this time around. Great food, small town feel, not mad expensive. The girl at the counter even remembered me =) . After we finished eating we headed over to Hammond Castle. We walked around the grounds before going into explore the castle’s secrets. The day was muggy and overcast. The sound of the ocean crashing over the rocks always makes my soul shine. I could have stood in that backyard all day and just watched the ocean but a catering service was setting up for an afternoon wedding and we were in the way. OOPS
We paid the admission and wandered through the castle. I am guessing insulation wasn’t a big thing back in the 1920s. It was stifling hot and the rooms smelled like a tomb. Still we had fun. I even sang in the Great Room and the gift shop. I couldn’t help myself 😉 After about an hour of roaming through the many landings and rooms we decided we needed fresh air and ice cream.
I had a lot of fun and we plan on more adventures soon. Thanks again for a great day.

img_20160911_080828965.jpgwp-1473548520606.jpg

It Didn’t Happen…

Sometimes an adventure doesn’t go the way I envision it. The stars don’t align, my destination is inexplicably closed, my vehicle misbehaves. I can get angry or I can find the adventure in the Missed Adventure I have been dealt. Find the joy where you are. This past weekend stuff went awry. I ventured out with a friend from work for an afternoon of fun. Our plan was to walk the Quabbin Reservoir, visit a winery (for some shenanigans) and hit Rose 32 Bread for lunch. And that’s when… the grapes hit the fan.

Okay so maybe that’s a little over the top but things didn’t go as planned. I came home from my usual Saturday morning meeting/weigh in. I fed hubby and the cat (PIMYA). I rechecked my notes, maps, and snackies and set out. I sent a text to my friend letting her know I would be in her neighborhood by 10 o’clock. I was driving up Route 9 towards the Brookfields when I realized I hadn’t yet gassed Bessie up for our adventure. When things start to go wrong, the fallout gathers speed rather quickly. If you are not careful the whole day can be ruined. I’m a worrier by nature so I was starting to feel a little stressed. “Breathe, Trish, just breathe” Yes, I talk to myself, who doesn’t? I am a firm believer that a positive outcome can be achieved if you keep trying for one = )

After much fanfare and a few false starts I finally made it to my friend’s house. I am an easy travel companion; I don’t mind if others want to join our band of mayhem and mischief makers so our duet became a quartet and we headed out. The ride to the winery was the best part of our morning trip. The road and surrounding scenery were awe inspiring and beautiful. I try to give credit when and where it is warranted. Having said that, notice I make NO MENTION of this winery by name or give it free publicity. It simply didn’t live up to it’s glowing reputation. Our band of merry makers arrived just shy of 11 o’clock. The grounds were manicured, beautiful, and void of any activity. I checked my phone for the time. They should be opened. Hmm?

The early bird doesn’t always catch the worm. Sometimes he snags a crabby apple. Just our luck =( The best way to get and keep a repeat customer is to give them something to come back for. I offer nothing here except that I was greatly disappointed by the failure of this part of our journey. I give credit to my fellow adventures who let their obvious disappoint roll off their backs. We simply finished up and MOVED ON. Being in the right mind set makes the difference between success and failure. We  ventured down to the road a bit and found a slice of Heaven in the way of a local café/bakery.

Did you live near a local bakery when you were growing up? To know the smell of fresh baked wonderfulness makes my inner child squee with a delighted happiness I can only compare to a paid day off, an early winter thaw, finding money on the sidewalk = pure JOY. I read the offerings mindfully and chose wisely. I was not disappointed. The bread fresh, made on site, all of the components equally fresh and eye appealing.Rose 32 Bread made the sour memory of the winery fade into a minor glitch in an otherwise perfect day.

The key to success? Be prepared for what may come your way. Our adventure didn’t turn out the way it was planned. I met a new friend (hi, Jordan!). I reconnected with a cute little girl who has turned into quite the young woman (hi, Sadie!). My coworker (Kim) was patient, fun, and generous; never complaining once about the turn of events. All in all our Missed Adventure turned out nicely. I try to approach my WW journey with the same winning attitude. I try my best to make the best choices for myself. I stop and take a deep breath when things feel like they are slipping from my grasp. I adjust my plan and move on. I don’t always succeed but I never give up.

 

 

 

 

Sleeping Beauty?

I am asleep but fitfully. I am running away from myself in this dream. I keep running into you. What are you trying to tell me? I roll around under my covers, semi awake mumbling to myself. I sit up; glance over at the clock, its blaring light tells me it is 3:02 in the morning. I step out of bed my mind in a half fog. I maneuver my way to the bathroom careful not to trip over my cat. I know she is lurking there somewhere in the dark. As I sit on my throne she pads in, rubs her body against my legs, her purr loud and reassuring. I reach my hand down, she glides her soft warm cheek across my fingertips. I give her a quick scratch under her chin. I hear her pad away into the kitchen. She will grab a few quick bites from her supper dish, knowing that all is well. She can let her guard down even if it just for a few minutes. I try not to focus my thinking at 3:02 in the morning while I am peeing. I DO NOT want to be awake at this hour. I want to alight on the wings of Sleep and let her take me through the night peacefully, gaining what rest has escaped me all week.

Everyone experiences a heavy day now and then. A day filled with anger or disappointment or uncertainty. I find whenever I am in the midst of a heavy day or an argument with myself about a situation I dream vivid solution dreams. My way of trying to achieve peace with myself. Sometimes it works. I wake up feeling better about life in general. Sometimes it doesn’t work. I awake at an unholy hour of the night more distressed than when I went to sleep. There is a place in my soul (the Palace of Grudge) where I harbor all of my misgivings, my loathing, my greed. Occasionally this spot gets irritated by the greater parts of my soul, you know what I am talking about; THE YOU, the better version of yourself. The one that is who you really are. Kind, gentle, loving. This part of my soul will only put up with me being an ass for so long then all hell breaks out. It is then in the wee hours of the morning when I should be sleeping my best that she strikes.

Conscience is a good being. She tries gently to remind me of the path I should be on whenever I cross over to the path of destruction. She stays glued to my side throwing out her guiding ways. I am just stubborn. I often choose the tougher path from which to learn my life lessons. I am lucky that Conscience is well meaning and kind, otherwise I would be screwed. She is always there. She always knows what to do in a tough situation. She doesn’t like to be ignored. She is overjoyed and giddy when she wins the day.

Lately, Conscience has been on my ass about an issue I have ignored for a long time. The real problem is there is no easy solution to the problem as it lies. Therefore I sometimes lose sleep while my opposing viewpoints fight for the win. I could be the “better” me and try to have a chat with the source of my angst. I could row the boat closer to the dock, but just like the gingerbread man on the wolf’s back I am leery about trusting. I think I am smarter than that wolf. Sometimes the best way not to get bitten is to stay away from the mouth. Poor Gingy, could have lived and ran another day if he had just chosen a different path.

I am sorry Conscience but this time I choose not to follow your pleading ways. Stay ever vigilant = ) I appreciate all that you have helped me to accomplish. I am sure I will be hearing from you again; soon.

Love,
Beauty

To live is to learn
To live is to learn
(who likes sleeping)