Weak One

I didn’t want to get out of bed so early; but, I did it. I didn’t want to admit that I had left my journey on the road back at my fork; but, I did it. I didn’t want to accept that I needed to go back to WWs; but, I did it. I got up before the alarm clock went off. I woke my hubby by trying to be TOO QUIET. I rushed out the door. I was a walking emoticon. I felt like crying. My throat felt tight like I couldn’t breathe. I was anxious about walking through that door. I talked to myself the entire drive over. I sat in my Jeep for a few moments and pep talked myself into going in. I went in. I weighed in. I sat down and I let go of my anxiety. I did it.

I did this for me. I am worth this. I forgot how important I am to myself. I need to be healthy for me.  How things have changed. New rules to learn, bad habits to tame into healthy routines, exercise!?! UGH!!! I have a hate/love relationship with that. I could blame this on high school forced participation (with little to no encouragement or positive feedback) ; but, I am adulting today. I listened to the topic for the week. As a group we laughed, exchanged ideas and talked about our lives. It felt wonderful. I love my early Saturday morning meeting. I have missed you.

I have struggled all week to make better choices. I made a few mistakes. Unlike times past, I haven’t given into myself. I am trying to make this work for me. I miss seeing my feet. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never be the Diva in double digit underpants ever again. I want to be the best version of myself. I have quite the adventure ahead of me. Tomorrow is my weigh-in day. I am a little nervous and excited at the same time. I had a great week because I took part in my well being.  What have I learned this week? I am not the WEAK ONE. I can do this.

 

Look past the mirror, look at your soul – love yourself. You are beautiful!

As I get older, which I HATE BTW, I feel like I have lost my inner child. Odd? I know but it is the way I feel = (
I am 50 (FUCK) and for the first time in my life I am faced with the knowledge that bucket list or no there are things I will never get to. In all honesty I have been really down. Just when you have yourself believing there is more rain than shine something draws your eye, your breath catches in your throat, tears begin. The thought that somewhere there is someone reaching out trying to help makes you realize that all is not lost. There are people who try to make the world a better place just by being kind.

Encouragement can come from the most unexpected places. I had a really bad day but this

via Look past the mirror, look at your soul – love yourself. You are beautiful! @SFTSorg @KseniaSolo.

made me feel like I am Okay.