What The Puck?

I had decided to chronicle my opinions, moods, anger, joy over the return to the sport of hockey to Worcester, MA. I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to hurt my hubby’s feelings. I often lament to my dear hubster when I am feeling vulnerable that I feel unnoticed, unwanted, under appreciated, invisible and unloved…but it never rings truer for me than when hockey season is in full swing. I will attempt to let you, the outsider, in on all the secrets of a hockey widow… and then I just didn’t do it. See above.

What good can come from being frustrated? I do not enjoy the stuff that surrounds the pregame BS of hockey. Unlike most casual fans of the game, my hubby ( a die hard fan )wishes to be at the arena almost a full two hours before the puck drop. EVERY SINGLE GAME !

 

Have I ever told you hubby doesn’t drive? I get angry because I feel like I am chained to this sport. I can’t go anywhere game days. I don’t get much done. I feel like I have no say in what I want or what I have TO DO those days.

As the first season draws to a close I can tell you here and now that my attitude has not changed about feeling trapped by this sport. I hold a deep resentment for my husband’s mistress (HOCKEY) but I love him. I think our life together has been able to sustain itself partly because we are both wise enough to know that compromises are a necessary evil for a healthy union along with respect, love, friendship, and flexibility. I need to find something to keep myself engaged while I am in the arena for the two plus hours I will be there. Start a memoir? read? sing? watch a movie? write posts for my blog?

podcast anyone? with witty repartee?

*** Today is March 29,2018***I started this post in October 2017 when I was feeling on the fence about the commitment hockey is in our lives. I love all of the people I have become friends with through hockey. My life is enriched by you in ways I can not articulate. ; )

 

 

Staycation

Ahhh, my first vacation of the season and {{{SIGH}}} my first vacation of the season. I am a contradiction of terms. I am both excited and deeply depressed. Strange? not if you know me. I suck at relaxing. I have never been able to take a day off. You know what I mean;  sit around, watch bad TV, maybe take a shower, have a ton of unplans. An unplan is a happening with no set logical or pre-established guidelines. Think of it as going to a local store for something quick and different. You had no set plan so you just do the next best thing. A vacation filled with unplans makes my hubby happy. It drives me to distraction. I fight  with myself to be in my moment, to relax,  to do something I have been dying to do! I wait all year for this vacation. You would think I would plan my time off better, fill it with things I want to do, see, explore but I don’t. Mind you I talk a good game. There’s always  something whirring in the back recesses of my grey cells about the perfect adventure.

I like to take the first week of July off each summer because my birthday falls there. I want the luxury of not having to work on my birthday. It is the perfect time of year. The days are longer, hotter and filled with promise you just don’t get in winter. Every year I waste my week; I get plenty done (see the contradiction?). Housework , shopping, spring cleaning. I have all this free time on my hands and no idea how to use it.

)july birthdayI get to share my birthday with my Country. Every one I know loves the Fourth of JULY, the Nations’ Birthday. Hotels are packed, restaurants are packed, beaches are packed. Living on the East Coast in July brings bus loads of tourists to a neighborhood near you. Great, if you don’t mind spending your week off  waiting in long lines for things you hate to wait in line for, like the bathroom.

How easy it is to forget how wonderful something is when it becomes too familiar to you. I have lived on the East Coast my whole life. All the glitter is still there; it’s just harder for me to see. I find my joy in the majesty of the mountains which still takes my breath away. The sunrise over a quiet lake, awe inspiring. A walk in a town I have never been to before, exhilarating. I don’t do these things everyday, therefore; the glitter still sparkles, catching my eye, reminding me of how lucky I am.

My week is nearly over. I am well rested. I didn’t cry on my birthday. I enjoyed spending quiet time with my hubby. I still have time for an adventure. Our unplans worked wonderfully. I have decided I am okay. (I think !?!) I relaxed.  =  )