Framily

I often forget, well, I don’t really forget I get complacent and take for granted all of the things I am grateful for. I had a terrific weekend. I went to a parade in Plymouth MA with a friend. It was a lovely day. A little windy but bright and inviting. I sang to the breakfast crowd at Will & Co. Café. I have a habit of breaking out into song in the oddest of places but I was loving life and I wanted to share my joie de vivre.

My friends (the people I love most in this world) allow me the indulgence to be. I am pretty sure that I have never expressed my gratitude adequately enough. I apologize. You are everything wonderful to me.  I am so lucky to have you in my life. Family is sometimes made up of people you are not related to but who you can relate to.

In recent years I have lost my sister, my mom, my dad; me, but in a different way. It’s  difficult to be thankful. I spent so many years feeling trapped by the constraints of family and its obligations that I never put much thought into what would become of my world when these minor inconveniences were no longer of my daily life. Being part of a family is tough not being part of a family is tougher. I now know what it feels like to get invited to a party where I am the only who shows up in drag. Oh that isolating swirl of emotion that sets you aside from those around you, wonderful really.

I wish I could turn back time. I would hold my mom in my arms and tell her how much I love her because I never told her enough. I would tell my dad he was my hero. I would HUG my kid sister. And I would be thankful for every ugly, angry, happy, loved moment of being part of something.

Do you  know how blessed you are? Find out. Sit back, be quiet. Drink in the laughter of your loved ones. Embrace what you have been given, make a memory and hold on as long as you can. somethinggratitude

 

 

 

 

Because I AM HAPPY

Spring is the time of renewal. I love Spring. The longer days, the warmth of the sun, the budding of the trees and the blooming of the flowers put me over the top HAPPY. Yes, I do happy. My life sometimes brims over but who’s doesn’t? Winter this year seemed to be so drawn out. Cold and dreary, difficult times not to sink into a withdrawn emotional state. I am grateful for so many things. I have a job (even if sometimes I hate working). I am loved. My hubby understands me in ways I don’t.  My Dad is being taken care of and despite my misgivings he is doing okay. I have a home with my hubby that we love. I have friends that I care about who care about me in return.

I started blogging as a way to vent things out I felt I couldn’t control or change or sometimes as a way to let myself know I am ok; that things are normal. Everyone struggles with life and the things that make life worth getting out of bed for. I would be worried if there were no bumps in the road. I have learned that I am a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. I have a capacity for love I never knew lived inside me. I live my life for me and the people I love.

Feeling happy is a state of mind, a personal journey not a destination. Life is in the taking of risks. Living each day you are given. I used to wonder what “waiting to exhale” actually meant. I get it now. It is that feeling you get when someone startles you. It is the quick draw of breath you take in and are afraid to let go of. Like somehow holding your breath will keep you safer. After a near lifetime of holding my breath I exhaled.

I am OKAY. My life has not always progressed the way I have wanted it to but I march towards a better day, a life worth having. I hope you always have love in your life and people who are wise enough to love you for what you bring into their life YOU.