Today is a pretty big day for my hockey family. A new hockey team debuted in Worcester, MA this past October. With hard work and determination and some luck thrown in there for good measure this new team has made it to their first showing in the ECHL’s run for the Kelly Cup. For the hockey unknowing in the BIGS, the Bruins are trying to win the Stanley Cup . It is a big thing, trust me.
My hockey family is gathering onto a bus this afternoon to make a 180 mile trip to Glens Falls, NY to cheer on our team. I like hockey. My hubby and our friends at hockey LIVE HOCKEY. I enjoy going on the trips. The people who run the Booster Club for our team do an amazing job of planning, organizing, and keeping a bus full of people engaged and entertained. THREE hours on a bus is a lifetime! “are we there yet?, are we there yet?”
The town of Glens Falls is near the Hudson River and just shy (15 miles south) of Lake George’s beautiful, picturesque settings. Well worth the drive in Spring or Summer for an adventure. Today my adventure will be in the midst of a bus load of people filled with hockey fever. I better bring a book. Go Railers!
Do you know what soul shine is? I like to think of it as something that makes a person so happy that from a distance it appears that they have a glow about them. It may be noticed in the way their step seems lighter or the smile they can’t unwear or the warm glow of happy that seems to emanate from their being. In everyday life we don’t get to witness it much. If you were lucky enough to have a ticket to last night’s season opener of the Worcester Railers Hockey you couldn’t escape the buzz of it.
I haven’t seen some of these good people for over a year. It was nice to catch up, to be in their presence. I had forgotten how much they are a treasure to me. Hockey brings more to Worcester than a sports team, it reunites the community in a way other things can’t. I was surrounded by excitement. School groups, old friends, new friends, co-workers and complete strangers all gathering to bring life back to this city we call home.
I feel like something that was lost has been restored. I am happy for my friends. I am happy for my husband. We haven’t had a lot to be smiley about lately. It was nice to see him settle back into his beloved element.
He enjoyed every moment : the sound of pucks as they slammed into the boards, the roar of the Zamboni as it prepped the ice, the chatter of excited hockey fans eager for the game to begin.
I had decided to chronicle my opinions, moods, anger, joy over the return to the sport of hockey to Worcester, MA. I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to hurt my hubby’s feelings. I often lament to my dear hubster when I am feeling vulnerable that I feel unnoticed, unwanted, under appreciated, invisible and unloved…but it never rings truer for me than when hockey season is in full swing. I will attempt to let you, the outsider, in on all the secrets of a hockey widow… and then I just didn’t do it. See above.
What good can come from being frustrated? I do not enjoy the stuff that surrounds the pregame BS of hockey. Unlike most casual fans of the game, my hubby ( a die hard fan )wishes to be at the arena almost a full two hours before the puck drop. EVERY SINGLE GAME !
Have I ever told you hubby doesn’t drive? I get angry because I feel like I am chained to this sport. I can’t go anywhere game days. I don’t get much done. I feel like I have no say in what I want or what I have TO DO those days.
As the first season draws to a close I can tell you here and now that my attitude has not changed about feeling trapped by this sport. I hold a deep resentment for my husband’s mistress (HOCKEY) but I love him. I think our life together has been able to sustain itself partly because we are both wise enough to know that compromises are a necessary evil for a healthy union along with respect, love, friendship, and flexibility. I need to find something to keep myself engaged while I am in the arena for the two plus hours I will be there. Start a memoir? read? sing? watch a movie? write posts for my blog?
podcast anyone? with witty repartee?
*** Today is March 29,2018***I started this post in October 2017 when I was feeling on the fence about the commitment hockey is in our lives. I love all of the people I have become friends with through hockey. My life is enriched by you in ways I can not articulate. ; )
Every morning during my work week I get out of bed before 5 am. I gather the things I need for my shower. I waltz into the kitchen and start the coffee. I bring my stuffs into the bathroom. I try to float around in the quietness between my husband’s sleep sounds and our cat’s need for immediate attention. She is a bit of a diva and can become quite loud if I fail to pay attention to her before I get into the shower. I love my mornings. It is the only time of day I am completely alone with my thoughts. I turn on my laptop, I begin to think about my day. I look forward to Friday. I needed Friday afternoon to come early this week but it rolled along following its own schedule as usual. I am tired. My feet hurt. I want the beauty of Spring, her gentle warming breezes and the way her foliage brings the smile out of an otherwise gloomy day.
Sometimes the sunshine we so desperately need comes from the people in our lives. Last night hubster and I stepped away from our usual Thursday night adventures and went to a hockey event. There have been far too many tears from me lately and not enough things to smile about. I wasn’t looking forward to being a part of a “hockey family” again. I have been enjoying the peace of FREE TIME. I did not want to go to this event but love sometimes requires us to partake in things as a show of support for something our loved ones are mad for. So loving my hubster, I drove him to be with his hockey peeps.
The smile of recognition from a face across the room tells me she is glad I came to the event. We make small talk. I congratulate her on her new grand baby. I think his name is wonderful and a strong indicator that he will do grand things with his life. I mean this. I tell her I am happy that she and her husband have bought season tickets for the upcoming season. She tells me is happy to see me. She tells me she loves reading my blog. My heart melts…and swells with pride at the same instant. How can I ever tell her what those little words of sunshine mean to me?
Sunshine needs no introduction. We have all felt her warmth, her vibrancy. Happy to be by her side; we miss her when she is gone. We write songs in her honor and poems extolling her virtues. Sometime friends are the sunshine you have been longing for. Lately I have been searching for my happy.
Last night I found it. Thank you for being the ray of sunshine I needed.
Life is pleasant unplanned for, wonderment. Growing up I can honestly tell you that I didn’t have many friends. Most of my friends were related to me or were kids in my neighborhood. School can often be a lonely place. If you are different from the norm it can be a brutal battlefield. Open season by others who lack the maturity to realize that it is the person(s) who are different that usually make the greatest effort to be better to you than the shits you hang around with. I survived public school. I was bullied; I became a bully. I am not proud of either experience but I walked away with life lessons I will never forget. I became a strong believer in random acts of kindness. I often sing in the middle of a store, a museum, or town square. I engage people in conversation about the loveliness of the day or an article of clothing that looks nice on them. I embrace my life with a joy I did not know growing up and I am a better person for it. Because I changed my attitude my life changed.
I am blessed to have amazing people in my life. My hubby has taught me so much about myself that I didn’t want to believe was true. I have the BEST bestfriend anyone could ever want. I belong to a book club that is filled with life affirming, positive, intelligent, well spoken females who inspire me. I learn something new about friendship from these ladies every time we meet. I have learned to be comfortable with who I am. Thank you = )
Yesterday I had the pleasure of undertaking an adventure with two ladies I met at hockey. Yes, I said hockey. My hubby is a HUGE hockey fan. As long as there has been hockey in our city we have held season tickets. I am more of a casual fan of the game. Often while hubby is engrossed in the goings on of the game I am being a social butterfly. That is how I met Christine and Allyson. Chris was doing duty at our team Booster Club table and I was trying to annoy her. Instead, I made her laugh (one of my more endearing qualities) I think. Allyson, whom I casually met at a game is friends with Chris. We met during intermission in between periods; a time spent by the diehards, hitting the bathroom, consuming snacks, trading stories about the shared love of the game and gossip. In time we became friendly.
Our first attempt at adventure in the last days of July showed me what great people they really are. Summer can be a busy time, we finagled our schedules to converge so these two could try to teach me all about kayaking. Our adventure day dawned with soaking rains. Time to break out Plan B. I find Plan B helps me to separate the true hearted from the PIAs (pains in the ass); sad but true. A like minded person will be willing and able to adapt to a new course of action and adventure while a PIA becomes like their moniker. Whining ,unless we are going to a winery, is just not cool. I have to hand it to these two. We adventured on. After some thinking we settled upon a walk around The Tower Hill Botanical Garden. We all got in a great walk, met some wonderful older generational people coming to Tower Hill for an event, and talked through a grand spectrum of life events. We found we have a lot in common besides the hockey. While we ate lunch we agreed to meet again before the doldrums of winter make life grey.
Yesterday we all piled into Christine vehicle and made our way to Gloucester, MA to have brunch at Sugar Magnolias. This place held up to my every expectation. I have eaten there once before. I found them just as wonderful this time around. Great food, small town feel, not mad expensive. The girl at the counter even remembered me =) . After we finished eating we headed over to Hammond Castle. We walked around the grounds before going into explore the castle’s secrets. The day was muggy and overcast. The sound of the ocean crashing over the rocks always makes my soul shine. I could have stood in that backyard all day and just watched the ocean but a catering service was setting up for an afternoon wedding and we were in the way. OOPS
We paid the admission and wandered through the castle. I am guessing insulation wasn’t a big thing back in the 1920s. It was stifling hot and the rooms smelled like a tomb. Still we had fun. I even sang in the Great Room and the gift shop. I couldn’t help myself 😉 After about an hour of roaming through the many landings and rooms we decided we needed fresh air and ice cream.
I had a lot of fun and we plan on more adventures soon. Thanks again for a great day.