Vacation?

I try to write something new every Friday night before my Saturday WWs meeting. I usually have ideas filtering through my mind all week, so there really isn’t much of an issue for me to find the right words for how I am feeling. I sit at my laptop and engage you in a (one-sided conversation) like we are together in a room, enjoying a drink and catching up on our busy lives. I didn’t do it this past Friday. I am sorry  =(     I decided I was on a vacation. Ok, that’s not really true; I was just super exhausted. I fell asleep half undressed before 9 p.m.

I wanted to spend some father /daughter time with my Pops. I decided to take him out of the nursing home for some fresh air and a haircut. Sometimes when I am on vacation I allow myself to get too busy and I don’t spend much time with him. I am not a Spring chick anymore so by the time I returned him safely to his residence I was POOPED.

Hubby and I went to our favorite local pizza joint for our “yippee we are on vacation” supper. “The plan” was to stay up and watch bad TV, enjoy each others company and then go to bed. I altered “the plan” by walking into the bedroom. I wanted to change into my jammies. I had every intention of joining hubby in the living room. My alarm slammed me awake at the ungawdly hour of 5 a.m. I don’t remember falling asleep. I never made it into my jammies, nor did I brush my teefs (teeth). My morning was less than glorious. I wasn’t feeling it. I had made plans with a friend from work to go on a pre-Zombie adventure to Salem, MA. I didn’t want to go to a meeting. I didn’t want to weigh-in. I didn’t want to go on an adventure. I woke up crabby!

It is rare for me to wake up and be in a bad mood. I assure you it does happen, my hubby can attest to it. I talked myself into getting into the shower. I grudgingly ran through my normal morning routine. I pep talked myself into being in a better mood. I talked to myself all the way to my meeting. I was going to make it a great day. You know what? It turned out to be a GREAT DAY!!!  Attitude really does have a lot to do with how successful or how much we struggle on this path. Once I made up my mind to be in my moment, crabby or no, my attitude changed.

I logged nearly 15,000 steps on Saturday, the most steps I have ever walked in one day ! Kim and I walked all over that crazy town. Kim graciously took my pic with the Bewitched statue. Cross that one off my bucket list. I am proving many things to myself. I am a force. I can do this. I am having fun while doing this. No one can do it for me.  Your life is waiting for you…go find what makes you happy and DO IT! Never give up on the person you are meant to be!

squee

 

Words on a Wednesday

Every step I take brings me closer to my destination. I love the summer months.Summer brings longer days, brighter skies, adventure, BBQs, baseball, the heat, thunderstorms and humidity =(    I hate humid days. It curls my hair and my mood. I feel like Velcro. I fish through my clothes searching for the most breathable fabrics I own. Any type of real activity leaves you feeling like a moist towelette you get from a fried chicken place. YUCK! but it’s Summer… so suck it up Buttercup!

When Summer slips into the months of August and the earliest parts of September I start dreading the coming Fall. I hate this part of summer. It is the time when I start taking inventory of what I have that fits versus what I have that I have grown out of. My recent past has been spent in turmoil over the things that I grew way to fluffy to squeeze into. I mean who doesn’t love a nosh at a family BBQ? or ice cream every weekend? even if it is at the expense( or expanse )of your waist line and your health?

This summer I am in the same exact situation but from a different perspective.  I have been eating healthier, making the best choices I can. I have lost enough weight that most of my “go to” line of clothes floats on me. Oh no, I need clothes. I hate to shop. I am bad at it. Worry, anxiety, stress, tears … this moment is being interrupted by a feeling I have inside me that says, “it’s okay, you are doing great things for yourself. This is not a race. This is your life, live it on your terms.” I have taken inventory in my closets and dressers. I have clothes that I can wear. There will be no unplanned nudity from wardrobe malfunction.  My hard work is beginning to pay off. I am learning to enjoy the fact that my clothes feel better against my skin. I no longer feel like I am being held hostage by my underwear. There is no pinching or bunching at the seams from any of my clothing.  YEAH ME!

It has been a really long time since I have felt this relaxed in my own skin = )  Never give up on the person you are meant to be. Anyone want to go shopping?