It started out with a touch of discomfort. My throat was dry and scratchy, my ears itchy, my eyes weepy; I thought to myself, “wonderful ! my Spring allergies have decided to rear their ugly head, ERGH !” I was determined though. I had just left my morning WWs meeting feeling UP. Today I had plans and no amount of impending allergies was going to keep me DOWN. I felt it was time to take the plunge and say good bye to my double digit underpants. I was treating myself to some well deserved new SMALLER undies.
No one likes to talk about under garments. The conversation gets smaller the larger you are. Pun intended. No girl I know wants to talk about their size or that they may have to specialty shop for foundation things. Well, I am here to change that. I was brave enough to face myself at the scale now I need to learn to have faith in the power of me and try on new clothes. I am not going to lie to you. I was nervous. I hate any kind of clothes shopping but I’ve made a promise to be better to myself. I am happy to report that after nearly an hour of self-doubt, with an ever rising anxiety level; I made my selection of not one but two packs of brand new smaller DIVA approved undies. I am worth it. = ) I have lost enough weight that I have moved DOWN the size scale.
Yes, they fit; and better than I thought they would, too! Yeah ME ! Atta Girl !
My allergies turned into a full blown Spring cold. I had fever, chills,and a general feeling of despair paired with the worst case of self-pity I have ever had, but I got over my bad self. I want this. I tracked all week. I planned the best I could. I tried very hard to keep my head in the game. I did it.
Never give up on the person you are meant to be.
It is in the small things. The truly important things in life are in the small things. Just think about it for a minute. A smile from a passing stranger. Laughter amongst friends. Sunshine on an overcast day. A butterfly in flight. Life is grand. I forget that sometimes. I forget that it takes work to be content. I forget to be in the moment.
I am trying to be better about the small things. I recently went back to WWs after a long (devil may care attitude that nearly cost me all I had worked so hard to accomplish) hiatus. It has been a struggle to get back into the swing of things but I can honestly say I am feeling much like my old happy self again. My heartburn is gone. My energy level is up and…my underpants are loose. Score one for me!!!
I like to think of my weight loss journey as a wall I am tearing down one stone at a time. I built my wall (ME) on bad choices, broken promises, resentments and tears. Life has a way of beating my best intentions out of me. True success begins with a little hope, forgiveness, some elbow grease and a belief in the power of self. It takes courage to change course and step away from the things that are not healthy but I am worth it. Aren’t you?
I didn’t want to get out of bed so early; but, I did it. I didn’t want to admit that I had left my journey on the road back at my fork; but, I did it. I didn’t want to accept that I needed to go back to WWs; but, I did it. I got up before the alarm clock went off. I woke my hubby by trying to be TOO QUIET. I rushed out the door. I was a walking emoticon. I felt like crying. My throat felt tight like I couldn’t breathe. I was anxious about walking through that door. I talked to myself the entire drive over. I sat in my Jeep for a few moments and pep talked myself into going in. I went in. I weighed in. I sat down and I let go of my anxiety. I did it.
I did this for me. I am worth this. I forgot how important I am to myself. I need to be healthy for me. How things have changed. New rules to learn, bad habits to tame into healthy routines, exercise!?! UGH!!! I have a hate/love relationship with that. I could blame this on high school forced participation (with little to no encouragement or positive feedback) ; but, I am adulting today. I listened to the topic for the week. As a group we laughed, exchanged ideas and talked about our lives. It felt wonderful. I love my early Saturday morning meeting. I have missed you.
I have struggled all week to make better choices. I made a few mistakes. Unlike times past, I haven’t given into myself. I am trying to make this work for me. I miss seeing my feet. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never be the Diva in double digit underpants ever again. I want to be the best version of myself. I have quite the adventure ahead of me. Tomorrow is my weigh-in day. I am a little nervous and excited at the same time. I had a great week because I took part in my well being. What have I learned this week? I am not the WEAK ONE. I can do this.