You Are My Obsession…

I sit here at my laptop week after week. I spill my heart out all over the place. I never tell anyone the whole truth just the parts I think you might want to look at. How do I always find myself back at the one place I loathe? I am filled with dread. I have to learn to stop being my favorite subject. I am obsessed with myself and what is wrong? with me. Look at me. Let’s talk about me. I am sad. I am angry, I am…, I am…

REALITY CHECK blogging can be very one-sided; sometimes the truth is that I don’t want to talk about me.

Enough!

It is time for me to do other things with my free time. Something constructive instead of destructive. I went back to the YWCA. I purchased a membership for a 13 week run. Today I went to the gym to get a schedule and register. I walked around the place to see what has changed. More than a few years ago (2008) I joined the Y and went to aqua aerobic classes with Mrs. Cooper. She was a great friend to me. I got a little teary eyed today in the locker room remembering how much we laughed, how much fun we had. She was a sweet soul. I really miss her. She changed my life in so many ways. She helped me to believe in myself.You don’t need to be aware that your kindness changes another human being for the better; just be happy in the knowledge that you can make a difference just by being YOU.

I left the Y feeling like I am now going in the right direction. I need to get back to taking better care of myself. I did not try this Summer to be an honest WW. I allowed myself to bend the rules. I stopped doing everything that helps me to be successful. I am ready now for the next leg of my life journey. I got this!

I would also like to clarify something for my fellow WWs. Never be embarrassed about weight that you have “reclaimed”. Everyday you are given is a chance to learn something new and wonderful about yourself. Learn to forgive yourself. You can give up or you can get up. It is your choice and your choice alone. Some days I don’t want to adult either but eventually I return to myself, my dreams, my hopes for a better day because I AM WORTH it.

Never Give Up ON The Person You Are Meant To BE! See you at the pool!

BLAHs

It takes an unwavering belief ( some pain, sweat and tears) in one’s self to accomplish the improbable dream. I like to believe that nothing is impossible. Some days I just don’t feel IT ! I woke up with the Blahs (Balancing Act of Love and Hates). Have you ever woken up and just felt meh, not wanting to get in the shower or get dressed or adult? but there is that little voice inside your head that whispers the words of wisdom “get off your ass cake, you’ll feel better after a shower!” If I am not fully awake I listen to myself and stumble through my morning routine slightly irritated but optimistic that my soul will be right and I will feel ready to face my day and all the wonderful crapped filled moments of it.  I woke up this morning NOT wanting to listen to myself. I dillyed, I dallied, I almost made hubby and myself late for work  =  (

The Fall is coming. The weather is changing, my mood is too. I love the Fall but I hate the shorter days. I love waking up to the crispness in the morning air but I hate that by noon I am roasting if I wear pants to work. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Leg maintenance is a MUST for the Summer. If I want to wear shorts of any kind, I must shave the sticks( legs ) . I love that about Summer but I hate that about Summer. I love the Fall because it provides a little lea way with shaving but if you are not careful,go too long  and you can hurt yourself or your loved one! Like a picker bush in full bloom, you could take an eye out!

I find myself fighting the BLAHs this week. I am worried about the Fall. I had a great Summer. I did really well on program and did not miss a week of WWs. I got up every Saturday and went to a meeting. I am a little sad; my favorite season is drawing to a close. I will miss you fresh fruits and veggies = ( ***  I don’t know what to look forward to. The shorter days? The darker mornings? The heat running? Okay! wait a minute, hold it ! No looking back. There are plenty of things to get excited about with the arrival of Fall. No, I am not going to toss around praises for pumpkin here! candy-cornEven though it is yummy and good for you in a bunch of ways! People tend to go pumpkin crazy, which drives me a little nuts. How about soft blankies? and sleeping comfortably with the windows open? How about the Fall festivals happening in and around the city where I live? I am heading into this new season happier, healthier, smaller in size and bigger in confidence. I can do this. I can enjoy Fall without falling off program = ) I  will be able to wear my (old, new) winter jacket (that I grew out of, that I fit back into) again!

I am thinking I will join the YWCA until Spring. Keep moving, keep motivated and Never Give Up On The Person You Are Meant To Be!