My Birthday wish can never come true. Every year I wish for you.

I am a little less than I used to be around the middle. My hair tinged with strips of silver and grey. I smile but it’s mostly for show. My eyes don’t sparkle from glee. I haven’t really been me.  Would she know me? It’s hard to say. I have gotten older yet she has remained the same.

Would she know me? I miss her smile and that wicked laugh. I miss her honesty and her messed up past.  I dream of her often, wonder why she had to go. Would she have left if she knew I needed her so?  Today is my birthday and I am more than a little blue. I miss my kid sister but there is not a thing I can do. Love is a magical thing. That makes you feel light as a feather. You can kick the world’s ass as long as you stick together.

Would she know me?  My heart could find her in one beat. I always knew when she was in trouble and needed me. I knew even on that day but I ignored that gnawing in my soul. I was trying to be in my life. She needed me that day. I could hear it in her voice when she called but I chose my life. There’s always tomorrow, right?

Life slapped me. It hit me hard. There are no tomorrows for us. I will never be the same. I am in my life but there are days like today when I feel more dead than alive. Love is magical but it can also be quite cruel. When it leaves you it leaves you. No words to say it is just gone like a shitty rainy day.

Would she know me? I think she might after all I got to be her big sister so I MUST have done something right.