Really? NOW? Spring you elusive imp, I needed you like two weeks ago. This  winter season you have been teasing me with a string of mild days with absolutely the barest minimal amount of snow, and just like that, KaBOOM! you let Winter sink his teeth in.  My bones are now beyond chilled. I was not looking forward to winter. The days are darker, colder, less friendly. I haven’t managed one really awesome adventure. I haven’t enjoyed one walk outside in the sunshine of an afternoon. Why? because everyone knows an afternoon in the winter lasts all of a ten minutes and is over before I get out of work. I get up in the dark, drive to work in the dark, drive home in the fading light of the day and end my day in the dark. I feel like a mole. Where’s my miner’s helmet?

I hate that I have to lug my HEAVY winter gear with me wherever I go. I was not looking forward to winter. Winter means me being less active. It was worse this year because I was experiencing some heart arrhythmias. I was taking it easy until I saw my doctor. I finally had my cardiologist appointment this week right before the storm. I have been given the green light to resume any and all activity I was participating in before my incident. I am pleased to tell you that my video game playing skills have not diminished one bit. I have seen the days start the climb into more daylight hours. I felt a surge of happiness. I was hoping to be able to start my Spring walking program early. Mother Nature really has a twisted sense of humor, doesn’t she? Bitch

I am over it now. Winter is grabbing at his last glory days before Spring. I made a promise to myself to make it to my goal. I don’t intend to let myself down. I may falter but I will never give up.  I am not a quitter.  Believe in the power of self.

Never Give Up On The Person You Are Meant To Be, I’m not!


Leap of Faith

You know that feeling you get after a  rain storm? The inhale of optimism, like anything is possible. The air smells fresh and all the grime has been washed away from the sidewalks. I have been like a raincloud overburdened with debris waiting for the right moment to unleash all and start anew.

I shut off the alarm early. I wanted to go back to sleep but that little voice inside my head was shouting, ” leap of faith, leap of faith, leap of faith.” I have been rolling around ideas in my little grey space for a while. I have lost belief in myself and the power of changing the things that need tending to. I let it happen. That shit stops now. I am my voice.

Choices made, I leave my house and drive to my new meeting. I feel a rush of confidence wash over me as I pep talk myself, push open the door and walk in. I know one of the weigh-in ladies. I CAN do this. I was only going to weigh in but that little voice was shouting” leap of faith, leap of faith” so I stayed. Mother Nature in concert with my decision opened her skies and the rains came down and I felt a wave of optimism I thought I had lost. Funny thing happened on the way to being disappointed I was inspired instead. Timing is everything. Right time, right place.