Just last week sort of unexpectedly and then again not entirely so a coworker of mine passed away. Death visits us all. Each time it visits a little piece of who we are disappears. It may be the love of your life, or a casual acquaintance ,or a lifelong friend, or even a coworker. Death is not prejudice in its taking; it comes when it is your time. No amount of love or bargaining changes that.
The people who get left behind are the ones who carry the pain, the sadness, and the anger left by death. Those left behind carry the flame of warm memories, love and happiness that death tries to pry from our grasp. In time we allow these feelings and memories to come back to the forefront. We are the survivors. Those wonderful moments we refuse to let go of carry us through to the next chapter of life. In time we celebrate what we were blessed to have had. We cry a little less, we love a little more and we carry the hope that OUR loved one is in a better place, even if it means without you.
I lose my ability to put my own grief apart from the grief of others who have lost a loved one. I have a difficult time in expressing how much your loved one meant to me or how truly saddened I am over your loss. My truth is that all my pain, all of my losses flood my senses before I can figure out what to do or say. Somehow; I’m sorry, just falls short for me. I can never get you to understand just how sorry I am for you. It makes me sad in a place I find hard to crawl out from under.
We, as humans are a little more fragile than we like to admit. Love the people in your life while they are IN your life.