It is a Friday night near the end of February. I am in a hotel room in the pouring rain. I am tired and I just want to go home but I can’t. I am at a gaming convention. I don’t know if you understand what that is but I can tell you that for me IT IS HELL. I don’t begrudge another living soul their happy hour but if this is all you got my heart goes out to you, seriously.

Imagine a football sized playing field packed to the gills with oversized 10 years old trapped in forty year old bodies; and yes, I am being polite. Tables and chairs are strewn throughout the room. Dice are rolled, cards are shuffled, board games and minis fill the room. The person to person chatter sounds like a low pulsing buzz that rises and falls as the excitement in the room spills over the crowd in waves. A roll of the dice from the table in the corner is drowned out by a nearby round of laughter.  All activity in the room is connected and uniquely separate at the same time. People tell me that physics is hard, yeah try a convention.

Bad hair, bad teeth, bad manners, BAD HYGIENE. C’mon people you can just do better than this. Soap and water is plentiful and cheap. Go get yourself some. I like for a person to look me in the eye or at least the general vicinity of my face whilst we are conversing. My breasts can not hear a word that you are saying so for God’s sake, look UP.

I am sorry that you don’t get to interact with members of the opposite sex as much as you’d like to but if you left your parents basement once in awhile you might actually meet someone.

I know. I know I am being unfair but I did tell you I was tired. I am not a gamer;  I married one. Sad story of my life. You can not tell your heart who to love. I love my hubby just not his hobbies. A convention of any type is a great merchandising ploy with the multipurpose of getting like minded people to intermingle, provide entertainment, exchange ideas and ensure a steady cash flow to vendors that sponsor said conventions. Ask yourselves where would a pro sport be without the merchandising? or Harry Potter?

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