Life moves forward. After the apologies have been made and the silence overcomes the emotion you know the answer. There is no returning to what once was. An egg can not be unfried. The only thing in the world that returns unto itself is water. So I will move forward. I wish you the best life I truly do. I hope someday the moments we had will make you smile instead of angry but that is beyond my control. Often I find myself smiling over a shared memory or a trinket or an outing we took. Thanks for all of it. Thanks for teaching me how to want more out of my life. For a while a very short while I was not going to post my blog anymore in deference to your anger. BUT… that goes against my principles.
SO? What happens now? I don’t really know. Life only comes at anyone moments at a time. I am at a different juncture in my life. I am setting up for the time when I retire and am able to live apart from a work environment. I am not so worried anymore about if people like me. I am more concerned with how I treat myself. There are plenty of people in the world still left to meet. I am ready for adventure.
SO? What happens now? When you are a part of my life I enjoy every moment we have together, the laughs, the food, the places we go, the things we see. When you are not with me I still speak of you with a fondness for who you were to me. I sometimes still slip and tell people you are my best friend. There is a you shaped hole in my soul. “Just because you lost me as a friend doesn’t mean you gained me as an enemy. I’m bigger than that , I still wanna see you eat , just not at my table.”