Everyone needs that one person. You know who I am talking about. That one person who sees through the lies, sees through the fear, sees through the walls you have put up to keep yourself safe. That one person who will hold you accountable for your actions. I have been very blessed to have had three; my kid sister, my hubby, my BFF.
I am sure there have been others that were not fooled by my guises but only these three ever made me face myself. Others have told me of my short comings not out of love but annoyance. Like the casual co-worker who thinks they know how best to fix your life. We all know the truth behind that. People in glass houses shouldn’t own rocks, or throw them either. The only real way to fix your life is to do it yourself.
It is also one of the toughest things you may ever do. In order to fix what you think is wrong with your life, every thing in and around you needs to be looked at and sorted. People tend to do things because the outcome feeds a need. Give a smile to get a smile if you get my drift. The older I become the more restless I feel. I am not so sure of myself any more. For the first time in my life I feel old. Will I ever be able to let go of the memories of being let down by the adults in my life who should have lifted me up instead of put me in my place?
I want to be able to let go of things that are unhealthy to keep clinging onto, hoping that I will remember them differently. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. Falling down teaches a toddler how to walk. Somehow when we get older we are afraid to fall. Is it because we might not be strong minded enough to try to stand up? to try just one more time? I need to accept that failure on any level is the only true way to know success when I finally achieve it. It is ok to be flawed that what makes each of us unique.