The Empty Hanger

Sometimes I sit here and I feel at odds with myself, my world, my family. I am sure I am a huge NOBODY and what I say or do does not matter in the least to anyone, not even to me, but that is not reality just my anxiety. Do you know what you mean to someone? No guesses, truly know? I am betting that you don’t. I know I haven’t a clue. Every once in awhile if you are very lucky you meet someone that stands out in a crowd, someone that makes a difference to your world, someone that you are happy to know. I always strive to be this person. I want to make an impression you cannot easily walk away from. I want to be someone you remember in a wonderful way. While I am good at expressing myself on this side of the keyboard, in person I often feel awkward and stumbling.  In the privacy of my little office I can organize my thoughts and feelings and type away my fear, anger and frustrations with complete freedom.

I started writing in my youth to help combat my inner demons. My mother battled mental illness her whole life. As a result I grew up believing the worst of myself. Struggling with my worth, my identity, I was GIRL LOST. I have been fighting with myself for so long just trying to be something other than what I think I am. So who am I really? I am someone’s wife. I am someone’s daughter. I am someone’s niece. I am someone’s cousin. I am someone’s aunt. I am someone’s sister. I am someone’s best friend. I am someone’s last hope and someone’s first smile. I AM SOMEONE you will never forget.

Flowers would be nothing without bees. Small and insignificant yet mighty and powerful. DSC_0190I called out of work earlier this week when I returned, a coworker casually told me how she felt when she walked by my desk and noticed my lonely, empty coat hanger keeping watch over my desk. It was only after noticing how empty it looked without me that she felt a sort of sadness over my not being around. I know I looked at her with a measure of wonder. I can never tell her how much that touched my heart. Never underestimate what you mean to the people in and around your life. Bee something wonderful to the flowers in your life = )

Never Give Up On The Person You Are Meant To BEE!!!

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