Will you love me less if there is MORE of me? I just turned 53,four days ago. My birthday, as usual, became bigger than itself. It was a fine morning. The sun was out, the humidity low and the temperatures perfect for whatever might come around the corner. I am terrible about making plans that have any value or consistency to them. Might have a plan is probably a better term for what I have rolling around in my head about anything I “MIGHT” want to do or any place I “MIGHT” want to go. This birthday I was out of bed fairly early. I was up and moving around the house perfectly happy. I know, right? who is this chick? but it is true. Hubby and I had not made any solid plans but we were going to hit the bookstore, grab some lunch, maybe go for a drive.
We were just finishing up our morning chores when the lights went out. At first I thought hubby had just turned off the TV in a preemptive strike so we wouldn’t leave it on when we walked out of the house to start our day. I called out to him from our second bathroom,” Honey? did you just shut off the TV?”
I was listening to the news as I was cleaning the cat’s litter pan. A truly thankless disgusting job but I love my cat so…
“No. I think the lights went out!” He yelled back.
“Wait, what? I can’t hear you!” I walk out of the bathroom around the corner to his office. “You know, I think the lights went out!” It is 10:38 am.
He looks at me like someone just struck a match in a dimly lit hallway, ” Yes, Trish, brilliant.”
“Well, I thought maybe you were just being a butthead because I wasn’t ready to leave yet. I guess not, sorry.” Another look. One I don’t need to explain here. Let’s just say I got the drift he was annoyed. He never calls me names. My bad.
He looked up our electric company’s customer service number on his cell. “Call these jerks and let them know there is a power outage.”
We all know how customer service work. NO HUMAN ever interacts with you. This factor alone is enough to drive people crazy. All people really want is the knowledge that someone has heard them. Listen to me, hear what I say.
An automated response came over my cell. “There is a power outage in your area of a undetermined cause. Crews have been dispatched to your area. Service should be restored around 11:30 am, sorry for any inconvenience this may cause you.”
Now do you believe that MY BIRTHDAY is pursuing a vendetta against me? Hubby and I survived. We had no lights until after 7 pm. No cable or internet until almost 11 pm. A few houses down on the same side of the street from our little abode an Oak tree decide it had nothing left to live for and fell over intact. There was no loud cracking. There was no active storm or high winds. The tree simply came up, root system pulled neatly out of the ground as if the Gods on high were pulling carrots from their vegetable gardens for a snack. Maybe the Gypsy Moth caterpillars did it. Those little buggers have been plentiful the last few weeks. They love OAK trees, well, at least their leaves.
As anyone can imagine there were service trucks up and down our street working feverishly to restore our “lifestyle”. Hubby and I had no choice but to spend most of the day out and about doing chores and eating lunch and supper away from home. So of course, I used this as my ULTIMATE EXCUSE to allow myself to wallow in my anger and make poor food choices on purpose, which brings me to my point; would you love me less if there were MORE of me? We all know the answer. No one who truly loves you cares if you are a tiny slip of a thing or someone with curves = ). I am loved. My hubby loves me. All of me. He always has. He still does. It is me that has the problem with self. He has always been more concerned that I am well, that my health is okay.
I go to WWs for me. I also go for him because he loves me. I know that I am a much better, happier person when I go. When I take ownership of my food addiction life is just better. The journey moves forward. Someday I hope I am wise enough to stay on the right path for my better well being everyday. This is the story of my life. Never Give Up On The Person You Are Meant TO BE.