Do you have a favorite food? That one dish you would sacrifice all of your weeklies for? The one dish you dream about? Laugh, if you want but my all time favorite thing in the world is a garden salad with grilled chicken from Steve’s Pizza in West Boylston. Yes, I weigh the chicken. I count the Syrian pocket that comes with it. The only thing I truly CAN NOT figure out is their dressing. It makes the salad that dish I would sacrifice every one of my weeklies for. Yes, I log the dressing too! even if it is creatively. ; )
I am learning to recognize the taste of the food I eat. Food has always been my bestfriend and my worst enemy. In the past I have used food as a mood stabilizer. A difficult admission but I spent years running away from myself, my dreams, my life. I would eat with no other purpose than to distract myself from unpleasantness. Numb my inner demons instead of deal with real issues. My own feelings of loneliness, self-hatred, fear. I wasn’t taught coping skills as a child. It’s a poor excuse to keep leaning on in adulthood. Who knew it would take me almost a lifetime to stand up to myself and demand more because I finally understand my worth.
I refuse to let food push me around anymore. I am the boss of me. I am responsible for my own happiness. I am trusting myself to make the best choices from what is available. I have given myself permission to be flawed. Perfection is not truth in advertising, Photoshop is. Live your life. Never Give Up on the person you are meant to be. Food is my bio-fuel not my friend or my council.