I have been fighting with myself since my last weigh-in. I am HUNGRY! I know it is more of a psychological voice messing with my Feng shui than true hunger . I have been on program since February of 2016 with a minimal amount of not following program. I have tracked every bite, lick, taste, and tempting thought. I have tried very hard not to hide my eating from my hubby but I fell on my face just now. I could blame it on my upcoming cycle. Song lyrics are running through my mind ( I enjoy being a girl ) but I won’t.
I ate. I am putting myself under a lot of pressure which is causing me unresolved stress. This will be my first big holiday without my Dad. I threw myself a pity party, irrational tears and all. I hid my binge snacking from my hubby just now. I have let myself down. I feel sick from all the sugar and I am disappointed that I gave in to the voices of doubt in my head. I ate but I didn’t choose wisely. I fell off the wagon and hit the ground. I told myself that this trip around I would reach out and ask for help. So I just went an had a chat with my hubby. Turns out he plans to keep right on loving me = ) I need to listen to my inner little girl right now. I am afraid. I have doubts about not being strong enough to weather the storm. No more letting fear win. I am loved. I am wanted. I have worth. I am strong. I am beautiful. I will not let a few hours of self-made terror rule my life. I am the BOSS of me! I had a weak moment but I am feeling much better.
I needed to vent that!!!! Off my chest, out of my mind, clean slate. So now what? I know what. I will simply continue on my path. One flat tire doesn’t stop a road trip. Smart people call AAA fix the flat and move on down the road. I can do this! I need to plan my meals better. I think I am hungry because I am not eating enough bulk. I need to add free freshies. Salad or fruit with my lunch. Drink more water. Get out and get in a walk before the sun sets. This winter is definitely going to be challenge for me but I will win. I have worked far too hard to stop now. Damn you flying monkeys I will get to that Emerald City one way or another!!!!
Never Give Up On The PERSON You Are Meant To Be !